Its been a few days since i blogged last.... was a little busy with my studies.... im happy that atleast now things are progressing in some direction..... and i think its in the right direction....


I donno how things and relations change so soon.... some of them mature towards a better bonding and a few do not.... while there is a category of people to whom you relate in the same manner as u did years before.... nothing less nothing more.....


In the past few years i have come across many people who have impacted my life in a way or another.... may be they too feel the same about me.... yet there comes a time when you just do not wish to resolve anything that has gone wrong or celebrate something which has made that relation speacil... after leaving Kochi, I realised that i really lived a very protected life.... the dynamics and so called politics of relations was a little less ventured area.... as time passed and more people i met.... i gradually understood it.....


I some how now strongly believe that very few relations are worth the pain they give... and perhaps the importance of family, parents, siblings have really increased for me now.... i think when i was in school and college my immediate focus was not my family.... no not exactly... perhaps i did take them for granted.... but i don't think im so casual about my family n siblings now.... Long back when i was in Kochi one of my friend had said that family is really important.... at the end of the day it is they who are with us..... i seem to understand the gravity of those words now.....


Apart from this what i have understood is that at the end of the day... its ME AND ME ALONE.... Who has to face things around me.... family friends are there in their very own special way... but then it is for us to do and face everything.... at least this way we take our lives on our own.... May be today im a little more upset than i usually 'm.... But this thought of being on my own always knocks on me whenever something goes wrong quite unexpectedly ..... Its nice to have people around you with whom you can share things.... but how much can one share..... and to what extent.... many times it so happens that people with whom we share things turn out to be so close that they will be more upset with what we are going through..... 


This is what i learned when i left Kochi..... and it was perhaps it is  then that i understood that enough of being dependent on anyone for relieving your feelings (not that now im totally self dependent.... but then i try to be as much as i can)...... May be i can take some one's advice.... but then most often we ourselves are our own best advisers.....


Perhaps this blog of mine has brought a yet another aspect of my self..... and i some how feel this part of my self needs some very good quality time and perhaps few other things (about which i do not have any idea)... in order to come out of this gloomy perspective.....


But yes one thing that i have learned.... and that too in a HARD WAY is to give importance only to those relations which are really worth it.... and yes very few people should be given the POWER OF ATTORNEY on your self..... This life is for us.... for us to realize our aspirations, wishes, dreams.... and very few people are really worth of changing or finishing our dreams..... BEING PRACTICALLY EMOTIONAL IS PERHAPS THE MANTRA..... AND AT THE MOMENT I REALLY FEEL BAD FOR MYSELF.... AS YET AGAIN A VERY STUPID THING HAS GOT OVER MY MIND AND HAS VERY SUCCESSFULLY RUINED MY MOOD........ AS LONG AS MY FRAGILITY TO FEW THINGS REMAIN.... SO LONG WILL REMAIN THIS FRAGILE AND NAUSEATING MOOD SWING......


anywaz.... of late i have begun knitting .... im just a beginner now..... took it just because creating anything really makes me happy and im very satisfied when i do anything creative.... or is that CREATIVITY IS JUST A STATE OF MIND.... WHAT IS CREATIVE FOR ME... CAN BE A CRAP FOR SOME ONE ELSE :)........... WHO KNOWS BUT IM HAPPY WITH WHAT IM DOING...


Got to go now.... im a bit hungry.... and have to finish few articles from some magazine.... im very happy and thankful to God and my Father for letting me pursue what i want to.... I feel Lucky....


this much for now....


Until next.....
Take Care of yourself.... because.... each one here is worth it..... and the best person to care for you is yourself....


Bye


PHIR MILENGE.... :)